Clewiston's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we’re diving headfirst into the swampy, sunny heart of Clewiston, Florida – and believe me, it IS a heart, beating with bass and the promise of adventure! And the key to unlocking that adventure? None other than the Holiday Inn Express Clewiston, Clewiston's BEST Hotel! Let’s get messy with this review, shall we?
First Impressions (and a Little Grumbling):
Okay, so the drive into Clewiston? Let's just say I was prepared for a bit of… well, middle-of-nowhere. And Clewiston delivers. But as the GPS finally spat us out at the Holiday Inn Express, a little wave of relief washed over me. It’s clean, modern, and blessedly air-conditioned. Let's be real: Florida heat is NO joke. The exterior corridor, while seemingly a minor detail, immediately told me this wasn’t some old, musty motel. Bonus points for the fact that it looked like it had recently been updated, I’m talking fresh paint and zero peeling stucco.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (But Leaning Positive!)
This is important, folks. The Holiday Inn clearly tries to be accessible. They claim they have facilities for disabled guests, and I saw ramps and elevators. BUT, and this is a BIG but, I didn't get to observe the minutiae for a wheelchair user. I did note the accessible parking spots close to the entrance, something a lot of places miss. So, while I can’t give a definitive “yes” or “no” due to my own limited experience, I believe they are making a good-faith effort. Needs improvement, but heading in the right direction. And that counts for something! They’ve got the basics, but further investigation for those with disabilities is crucial.
Cleanliness and Safety: Thank God for the Anti-Viral Gods!
This is where the Holiday Inn Express REALLY shines. Let's be honest: in this day and age, cleanliness is EVERYTHING. And this place is spotless. Seriously. I'm talking pristine. They brag about their Daily disinfection in common areas, Professional-grade sanitizing services and Rooms sanitized between stays, and from what I could see, they mean it. Hand sanitizer dispensers were everywhere (a welcome sight!), and I felt genuinely safe. I saw staff trained in safety protocol. And while I didn't actually SEE them using Anti-viral cleaning products, the result speaks for itself. Peace of mind? Absolutely.
Rooms: My Personal Fortress of Solitude (With Some Minor Quibbles)
Okay, the room itself. Decent. Not spectacular, but definitely comfortable. They’ve got all the basics: Air conditioning that actually works, Free Wi-Fi (thank you, Internet gods!), and a refrigerator to keep those cold drinks icy. The bed was comfortable, even if it wasn’t the most luxurious one I've ever slept on. Complimentary tea and coffee maker were a nice touch, essential for my morning caffeine fix. The blackout curtains were a lifesaver for catching those precious few extra minutes of sleep after a late night of fishing. Minor quirks: the TV was a little small (but hey, I wasn't there to watch TV!), the bathroom smelled faintly of… well, hotel bathroom, and I wish there were more power outlets (I always need more!). But seriously, these are nitpicks. Overall, a solid, comfortable room. Plus, the Wi-Fi in all rooms! was a life saver.
Diving Deep into the Details (Because Why Not?)
- Internet Access: Internet access – wireless, Internet access – LAN, Internet services are available, and, in my experience, they worked flawlessly. Streaming your favourite shows after a long day of fishing… yes please!
- Services and Conveniences: Daily housekeeping kept everything tidy, the laundry service definitely comes in handy, the Elevator was a must-have and also the Car park [free of charge]
- Getting Around: Airport transfer and Taxi service that it would be great to take those services to and from your stay.
- Safety and Security: Fire extinguisher, Front desk [24-hour], Front desk [24-hour], Security [24-hour], Smoke alarms are included to make sure people are safe at all times.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food, Glorious Food (Or the Lack Thereof?)
Okay, this is where things get… interesting. The “Asian breakfast” wasn't really my thing. I went with the Breakfast [buffet]. Coffee/tea in restaurant, what a relief! The coffee was surprisingly decent. But listen, don't come expecting Michelin-star dining. There's a Coffee shop, but the menu is limited. Poolside bar? Nope. Snack bar… a few pre-packaged things. Honestly, the food situation at the hotel itself is a bit of a weak point. But, Clewiston has other options (more on that later). Also Alternative meal arrangement, is something to ask the staff if you need that.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Beyond the Hotel Walls (and a Quick Dip!)
The Swimming pool [outdoor] was a blessed oasis after a day in the sun. It wasn't huge, but it was clean, well-maintained, and wonderfully refreshing. Gym/fitness! Okay, I didn't use it, but, it had the basics. I’m also just going to say that Clewiston is all about the outdoors. Swimming pool, is my happy place. Regarding Massage, Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath, they are not for this hotel.
The Big Picture: Is the Holiday Inn Express the BEST in Clewiston?
Look, let's be honest, Clewiston isn't exactly a metropolis. The competition? Slim. But the Holiday Inn Express is a solid choice. It's clean, comfortable, and the staff, from what I saw, were genuinely helpful. The rooms are well-maintained, and breakfast is included (although, as I said, don't expect gourmet).
The Imperfections I'm Telling You About & The Ones They're Not:
- The Buffet: While clean, the breakfast buffet wasn't exactly show-stopping. Bland scrambled eggs and lukewarm coffee.
- The Lack of Nightlife: This isn't a party hotel. If you're looking for a raging good time, Clewiston isn't the place, and this hotel, in particular, won't be your scene.
- Hidden Fees? Always question the bill. I didn't have any hidden fees.
The Verdict: A Recommendable Stay with caveats, but for Clewiston? Yes!
I give the Holiday Inn Express Clewiston a solid 4 out of 5 stars. It's a reliable, comfortable base camp for exploring the Everglades and surrounding areas. It's clean, the staff is friendly, and they seem to prioritize guest safety, which is HUGE in my book.
THE OFFER – Your Clewiston Escape Awaits!
Ready to escape the ordinary? Book your stay at the Holiday Inn Express Clewiston today and experience the best Clewiston has to offer!
Here's the deal:
- Book Direct & Get the Best Rate: Use code [INSERT CODE HERE] when booking online or mention this review when you call (insert phone number) and secure your stay at the lowest possible price.
- Free Breakfast & Wi-Fi: (This is standard, but hey, it's a good reminder!)
- Take advantage of their Family/child friendly
This offer is only available for a limited time, so don't delay! Pack your bags, grab your rod and reel (or your camera!), and get ready for an unforgettable adventure in Clewiston!
Kyoto's Hidden Gem: Sangen Ninenzaka's Kyo no Yado - You HAVE to See This!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to embark on a Clewiston escapade! This ain't your perfectly curated Instagram travel diary, folks. This is the raw, the real, the potentially slightly disastrous (but hopefully hilarious) chronicles of my stay at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Clewiston, by IHG. Consider yourselves warned.
The Itinerary (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Gator Trails)
(Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and the Promise of Deep-Fried Delight)
- 1:00 PM - Arrival & Initial Panic: Okay, first things first. Driving in, I was immediately hit with a wave of… well, "rural charm" might be the polite term. Let's just say the landscape reminded me of a Van Gogh painting if Van Gogh had a penchant for endless sugarcane fields and the occasional dilapidated roadside shack. Check-in at the Holiday Inn was blessedly smooth, though the lobby decor made me question whether I'd accidentally time-warped back to 1998. Still, clean rooms are clean rooms, and the AC was blasting, so I'm already feeling slightly less like I'm melting into a puddle of existential dread.
- 2:00 PM - Room Reconnaissance & The Case of the Questionable Internet: My room? Standard. Comfy bed. TV with more channels than I'll ever watch. The internet, though… oof. Let's just say I'm pretty sure my grandma's dial-up connection was faster. This is a problem. I'm a blogger! I need my internet! Cue mini-meltdown. Managed to calm myself down with a deep breath and an acknowledgement of the fact that the world will not, in fact, end if I can't upload my Instagram story immediately.
- 3:00 PM - Culinary Quest: Chasing the Perfect Fritter: Gotta eat, right? Heard the local dive bar, "Gator's Den," was the place to be. I walked in, and the smell of fried food nearly knocked me sideways. It was beautiful chaos. The bartender, a woman named Earlene with a beehive that defied gravity, warned me, "Honey, this ain't no fancy restaurant. But the gator fritters… they'll change ya life." I ordered a plate, eyes wide with a mixture of excitement and sheer terror. After the first bite… Oh. My. God. Earlene was right. Life-changing. Crispy outside, tender inside, perfectly seasoned, and paired with some kind of mysterious dipping sauce that tasted like heaven and regret. I think I might have shed a tear.
- 5:00 PM - Poolside Post-Fritter Coma: The pool at the Holiday Inn was… well, it was there. Cleanish. I spent an hour floating and contemplating my life choices (mainly, the fritters). Surrounded by kids splashing, I swear I spent the entire hour thinking about what Earlene had said about the fritters. I actually considered a second plate. I regret nothing.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner Debacle and the Mystery of the Missing Remote: Back in the room, I tried to order takeout, but the "restaurant" didn't have a website. I had to call. Call. In this day and age! The struggle was real. After that phone call, I was ready to throw in the towel. I reached for the remote… and it was gone. Vanished. Swallowed by the abyss that is the room's decor. This felt like a sign. Time for bed.
(Day 2: Lake Okeechobee, Alligators, and a Severe Case of Sunscreen Deficiency)
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast Buffet: A Study in Quantity Over Quality: The free breakfast at the Holiday Inn was… predictable. Waffles, sugary cereal, instant oatmeal, questionable coffee. I loaded my plate with those sad little waffles and drowned them in syrup. Fuel, people. Fuel.
- 9:00 AM - Gator Hunting (Not Literally): Okay, this was the main event! I booked a boat tour on Lake Okeechobee. I chose a smaller tour operator for a more authentic experience, and it delivered. Captain Ron was a character, a weathered old sea dog with a twinkle in his eye and a serious knowledge of gators. We saw them! Big ones, little ones, sunning themselves on the banks. It was simultaneously terrifying and amazing. He told us stories about the lake, about the local wildlife. We also saw a bald eagle swoop down! A moment I will cherish, the water, the sun, the whole thing was magical.
- 12:00 PM - The Aftermath of Sunburns: I thought I was prepared. I really did. Sunscreen? Check. Hat? Check. But apparently, I underestimated the Florida sun. I'm now sporting a lovely shade of lobster red. Lesson learned: reapply sunscreen every thirty minutes. Seriously. My skin is screaming. And the aloe vera… well, let's just say I'm going through it like it's water.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch and the Return of the Fritters: Back to Gator's Den for lunch. I couldn't resist. The fritters called to me. This time, I tried the gator tacos. Also amazing. I sat at the same table as the day before. There was a familiarity to this place, to this life, that soothed my nerves.
- 3:00 PM - Relaxing (Or Attempting To): The pool beckoned! I spent a couple of hours by the pool, this time with a massive slathering of aloe vera. I'm still glowing, though it's less "radiant" and more "solar panel." Contemplations: Why is it so hard to do nothing? I am terrible at it.
- 6:00 PM - The Search for Wi-Fi (Again): The internet still stunk. I’m becoming obsessed with the fact that I can’t upload my photos! I walked into the lobby and sat down on the floor by the modem, but the signal was still poor.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner and the Final Fritter Farewell: One last fritter fling at Gator's Den. Earlene gave me a wink and said, "See ya next time, sugar!" I told her I'd be back, and I meant it!
- 9:00 PM - Early to bed: I was exhausted. This trip was not necessarily relaxing, but it was full of new experiences, and that’s exactly what I needed.
(Day 3: Farewell, Clewiston… For Now?)
- 8:00 AM - Waffle Farewell and Emotional Baggage: One last sad, sweet waffle. I also packed up my bags, said goodbye to the room, and realized how much stuff I had accumulated on this trip. The photos, the memories, and the emotional baggage from the questionable internet and the missing remote.
- 9:00 AM - Departure and a Promise: Driving out of Clewiston, I looked back in the rearview mirror and smiled. It was imperfect, messy, and definitely not what I usually do. But, you know what? It was good. It was real. And those fritters… I'm pretty sure I'll be back. Farewell, Clewiston! Until next time, and maybe… just maybe… I'll get a better internet connection next time.
Clewiston's Claim to (Maybe Sort Of) Fame: The Holiday Inn Express - Asked & Answered (and Probably Over-Analyzed)
Okay, spill the tea: Is this Holiday Inn Express truly "the best hotel" in Clewiston, or is it just... the only one with a functioning air conditioner?
Alright, buckle up, buttercup. "Best" is a loaded word, right? In Clewiston? Let's just say the competition ain't exactly the Ritz. Look, it's clean. That's HUGE. I mean, I'm not saying I walked in expecting cobwebs (though a tiny part of me, the adventure-seeking part, secretly hoped for a vintage motel vibe), but it wasn't like, a biohazard zone. So, clean-ish. But "best"? Given the limited options, I'd lean towards a cautious "Yeah, probably." It's the least you'll feel like you're sleeping in a swamp... metaphorically speaking. The air conditioning? Crucial. And yeah, it worked. Thank the sweet baby Jesus for that.
Let's talk breakfast. The dreaded "continental breakfast." What's the damage? Is it actually edible? Because, let's be honest, hotel breakfasts... can be treacherous.
The breakfast, oh the breakfast! Okay, so, this wasn't a Michelin-starred meal. No, sir. But it wasn't a complete disaster. The usual suspects were present and accounted for, and I did get the distinct impression that the toaster *might* have been capable of toasting. (Key word: might.) There was, and I quote, "eggs" of some variety. I put "eggs" in quotes because... well, let's just say they resembled something found at a science fair project of my childhood. But the coffee? Surprisingly okay! Needed approximately three cups to achieve a modicum of human functionality, but hey, it did the trick. There was also a weirdly addictive apple juice, I don't know what they put in it, but it made me feel like I could conquer the Everglades. (Probably just the sugar rush.) My advice? Lower your expectations, and you'll probably be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, I've seen WORSE. (Shudders.)
Okay, the pool. Is it swimmable? Is it clean? Or is it more of a stagnant swamp of existential dread and forgotten pool noodles?
The pool! This is a crucial detail! I'm a pool snob, I admit it. And I have to say, the pool... was better than I expected. It wasn't exactly pristine, sparkling turquoise perfection, mind you, but it was... *swimmable*. I even saw a couple of kids splashing around and, get this, they actually *looked* like they were enjoying themselves! (No obvious signs of algae-related illnesses either - a definite win). There was a slightly chlorine-y aroma (a good thing, I think?), and, crucially, no rogue alligators (which, in Clewiston, is practically a 5-star rating). The pool was, however, a bit cramped. Picture it: middle-aged me, slightly sunburned, trying to execute a graceful backstroke while dodging enthusiastic children. It was an *experience*. Overall? Passable. Not bad, actually.
Tell me about the staff. Are they friendly? Helpful? Or do they look like they've spent their entire lives wrestling alligators (figuratively, I hope)?
The staff... okay, so here's the thing. They were *there*. And that's a win, frankly. I mean, nobody was actively hostile. (Always a good sign.) They weren't falling over themselves to be overly bubbly (thank goodness; I can't handle that pre-dawn). They were... polite. Efficient. No glaring red flags. Now, they might not have been thrilled to be working in a Holiday Inn Express in Clewiston, Florida, but I didn't catch a single eye roll or heavy sigh. The woman checking me in was particularly... efficient. Got me my key, explained the breakfast situation, and pointed me towards the elevator with laser-like precision. No small talk, no sugarcoating. Just a smooth, professional experience. Honestly, after a long day, that's sometimes exactly what you need. It's probably the most I've engaged with another human being at the end of the day. I guess that means it's a positive thing.
The room itself. What's it like? Clean? Comfortable? Or did it feel like a time capsule from the 1980s that had been slightly updated with some aggressively beige furnishings?
Ah, the room. This is where things get a *little* hazy. Okay, let's be honest: It wasn't the Four Seasons. But it *was* clean. (See a theme here?) The bed was... okay. Actually, fairly comfortable, once I wrestled the pillows into a decent configuration. The decor, though? Let's call it "functionally bland." Beige. Lots and lots of beige. Think "beige on beige on slightly-different-shade-of-beige." There were some hints of an attempt at modernizing the space, but the overall feeling was... well, let's just say it wouldn't be winning any design awards. The television, however, worked! (A small triumph, given my experiences with hotel TVs in general.) The bathroom? Standard hotel bathroom. Functional. Clean. Slightly sterile. No complaints. Overall? Perfectly acceptable. I slept. I showered. I didn't feel the overwhelming urge to run screaming into the night, so that's a win.
Anything *really* good or *super* bad about this place? Any deal-breakers?
Right, the good and the bad! Okay, the *really* good: clean. Seriously, that's a major selling point. And the location? Convenient. Pretty much everything in Clewiston is a short drive away, so you're good. The *super* bad... hmmm. Okay, this is gonna sound nitpicky, but the Wi-Fi was a bit... spotty on one of the nights I was there. Also the elevator was a bit creeky. And there wasn't a great view, but hey, you're in Clewiston, Florida. The view is probably going to be...flat. Okay. Deal-breakers? If you're expecting luxury, avoid. If you're expecting a truly unique, charming experience. Avoid. If you demand pristine perfection, maybe avoid. But if you need a clean, reasonably priced place to rest your head for a night or two, and you’re in Clewiston , it’s actually a perfectly decent choice.
Okay, let's get real. Would you stay here again?
