Gloriana Apartments: Your Dream Nigerian City Escape Awaits!
Gloriana Apartments: My Nigerian City Escape… and What I REALLY Thought
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Gloriana Apartments, "Your Dream Nigerian City Escape!" and I'm here to spill the tea. Forget those polished hotel reviews you're used to – this is the real deal, warts and all, because honestly, who wants perfection anyway? (Unless it's my coffee, then I'd prefer that, thanks.)
First things first: Accessibility. Bless their hearts, Gloriana tries. The elevator is a godsend, especially if you've been lugging around luggage in the Lagos heat. But honestly, the facilities for disabled guests felt a little… enthusiastic. I didn’t see any ramps. But hey, baby steps, right? They're probably thinking about it. We hope!
Cleanliness and Safety: Woo-hoo! Okay, on the safety front, they were on it. CCTV in common areas and outside the property, security [24-hour], smoke alarms – check, check, check. And the anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, and sterilizing equipment gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I'm a germaphobe at heart, so this REALLY mattered. They offer room sanitization opt-out available, but honestly, given the whole COVID thing, I wasn't taking any chances.
Rooms? Okay, this is where things get interesting. Let’s talk about the nitty-gritty details… which is where details matter most, right? You’re getting a standard suite of amenities and services, mind you! The air conditioning was a lifesaver. Seriously, it was a blazing inferno out there. Blackout curtains were a MUST. I’m a light sleeper, so getting good sleep here was a requirement. They had good towels, which sounds basic, but I appreciate good fluffiness after a shower, and they did have that. And the hair dryer was… well, it worked. Let's leave it at that. I was happy to have the complimentary tea after my long trip from the airport, but it was a little on the weak side. The desk served its purpose for me to set up my laptop. The internet access – wireless/Wi-Fi [free] was solid, which I really appreciated.
Internet: Speaking of which, Internet access – LAN was also available. I didn't use it, because the Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! was amazing. Streaming my shows, catching up with emails… All good. The internet itself was just a standard speed, but reliable enough to get your work done, and that's all you can ask.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Okay, let's talk food. The breakfast [buffet] was… well, it was there. I sampled the Western breakfast and it’s good enough to have a full stomach, But, and here's the big BUT, the Asian breakfast was where it was at. Some sort of fish congee? Absolutely delicious. The coffee/tea in restaurant was decent. And the poolside bar? Yes, please! Sipping a cold drink while watching the sunset? Pure bliss. Restaurants are on site with their own food items. The desserts in restaurant were perfect.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (aka, Blissing Out): Here's where Gloriana shines. The swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous, and the pool with view is really pretty. The fitness center is basic, but gets the job done. But get this…the Spa/sauna? I had to go back… twice! The massage was the perfect way to unwind after a day in the city. And the foot bath… don’t judge, it's the little things, okay?
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges. Now, it's a bit of a mixed bag. The main restaurant has a few spots with a more accessible layout, but navigating the whole dining area might be tough for someone with mobility issues.
Services and Conveniences: The concierge service was SUPER helpful – especially when I needed a taxi service in a hurry. The daily housekeeping was excellent, always a fresh room to come back to at the end of the day. There's also a convenience store, which is great for snacks and essentials. But the real MVP? The laundry service. Getting a clean shirt in Lagos is a small miracle, honestly. And they had safe dining setup.
For the Kids: Okay, I don't have kids, but I did see a few families. They seemed happy. There’s a babysitting service, and the kids facilities seem pretty standard.
Getting Around: Airport transfer? Absolutely essential. They have car park [free of charge], which is a huge bonus. A few of my friends were looking for hotels with car power charging station but, I didn't see any of these.
My Gloriana Moment: I'm not going to lie, I kind of loved Gloriana. There were a few quirks, sure. But the staff was genuinely friendly, and the overall vibe was relaxed. I felt like I was living in Lagos, not just visiting. There was a specific moment, sitting by the pool with a cocktail, reading my book, totally blissing out, that made me realize I’d found my little haven. It wasn't perfect, but it was real.
So, Here's the Deal: Book Gloriana Apartments! You need to escape, and be you, in the best way possible!
Here's Why You NEED to Book Gloriana Apartments RIGHT NOW:
- Escape the Ordinary: Forget boring hotels. Gloriana offers a genuine Nigerian experience, with all the comforts you need.
- Unwind in Style: From that amazing pool with a view and an incredible spa, you’re going to feel refreshed.
- Safety First (and Second, and Third!): They take your well-being seriously with top-notch safety protocols.
- Convenience is Key: From laundry to airport transfers, they've got you covered.
- The Perfect Basecamp: Explore the city by day, then kick back and relax in your comfortable room by night.
SPECIAL Offer!
Book any room at Gloriana Apartments for a minimum of 3 nights and get:
- A complimentary welcome drink at the poolside bar!
- A 15% discount on any spa treatment!
- A free airport transfer!
Limited Time Offer! Don't miss out!
Click here to book your escape to Gloriana Apartments: Your Dream Nigerian City Escape Awaits! You'll THANK ME LATER!
Escape to Paradise: Hilltop Express Inn Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is Gloriana's Glamorous Messy Getaway - My Brain's Guide to Surviving Lagos (Probably). Buckle up, because I'm about to lay bare my soul, my questionable decision-making, and my desperate need for a very strong cocktail.
Day 1: Arrival & "Oh God, My Luggage"
- 11:00 AM (Give or take two hours): Touchdown at Murtala Muhammed International Airport. Okay, deep breaths. Lagos. Land of… well, everything. I immediately get that familiar feeling of being simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly exhilarated. The smell of… everything… hits you. The air is thick with possibility and, let's be honest, a little bit of exhaust fumes.
- 12:00 PM (ish): The baggage carousel. My stomach starts doing this weird flip-flop because, you know, baggage claim is the true test of a traveler's soul. And… WHERE IS MY BAG?! The tiny, black bag that holds all my important things has gone on a different adventure. This is the moment I start questioning all my life choices.
- 1:00 PM (Eventually, maybe): Finally found a helpful (and incredibly patient) airport assistant who helps me track down my rogue luggage. Turns out it went to Dubai. Dubai! My bag has better travel plans than I do.
- 1:30 PM (And the saga continues): Uber ride to Gloriana Apartments & Suites. The traffic. Oh dear God, the traffic. It’s like a slow-motion dance party of cars, buses, and the occasional determined goat. I'm already starting to sweat through my "look cool, act unbothered" outfit. But hey, the driver's blasting some amazing Afrobeat, so I'm bopping along (quietly, of course).
- 2:30 PM (Still a maybe): Check-in. Gloriana looks gorgeous online, but I'm too disoriented to judge. I'm pretty sure my luggage issues have knocked me sideways.
- 3:00 PM: (After many attempts) Finally into my room. Gorgeous! And air conditioning. Thank the heavens! Now, let’s see what’s in the (now here) bag! I'm a mess, but, hey, at least I have my passport!
- 3:30 PM: I’m going to collapse on that bed. But before, a shower is needed. Lagos life is… dusty?
- 5:00 PM: This is where I was meant to go out and explore. My body says, “absolutely not”. I’m ordering delivery and watching whatever trash my hotel’s tv has to offer.
- 7:00 PM: I'm going to call this day a win.
Day 2: Food, Glorious Food, and a Questionable Street Market Adventure
- 9:00 AM: Wake up, finally fresh. Thank you, Nigerian air!
- 10:00 AM: Breakfast at the Gloriana – pancakes and eggs. Simple, but delicious.
- 11:00 AM: The main event. I’m going to eat something good. Jollof rice. Seriously, I'm on a mission to find the best Jollof rice in Lagos. I’ve read about this place, "Mama Fola's Kitchen," that apparently serves the gods’ ambrosia. Uber time!
- 12:00 PM: Mama Fola's. And… Oh. My. Goodness. The aroma alone is enough to make a grown woman weep. The rice. Juicy. Spicy. Perfect. The chicken. Perfectly cooked. Even the plantains are magical. I swear, I almost proposed to the chef. This alone justifies the entire trip.
- 2:00 PM: Street market, an adventure. Some friends want me to go with them to Balogun Market. I've never been to a place like this. It's CRAZY. People hustling, fabrics flying, everything everywhere, a cacophony of colors, voices, transactions. I got caught in the crowd, and this lady literally shoved a dress straight in my arms. "You look good in this, Madam!" she shouts, and honestly, she’s right. But I’m going with it, because how can you say no to an enthusiastic Nigerian businesswoman?
- 4:00 PM: Tea, and a rest!
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at a friend's house.
Day 3: Art, Beaches, and the Truth About My Sunglasses
- 10:00 AM: Morning in Lagos. The heat is real. Time for some art. We go to Nike Art Gallery. It is amazing! The energy is palpable. You can feel the passion pulsing through the building. It's a sensory overload in the best way possible. I could spend all day there, and I almost do. I leave buzzing.
- 1:00 PM: Time to be a beach bum. Elegushi beach. The sand is kinda hot, but the sea breeze is divine.
- 2:00 PM: I bought these ridiculous sunglasses back at the market. I'm wearing them. I feel like a celebrity.
- 3:00 PM: The water is warmer than I expected..
- 5:00 PM: Heading back, but I get stuck in traffic.
- 6:00 PM: So I finally got back, and the truth about the sunglasses. I was wearing them inside the whole time.
Day 4: Spa Day and Saying Goodbye (For Now)
- 10:00 AM: The day of pure bliss. I book a massage at the Gloriana Spa. I get a full body massage. Honestly, it's pure heaven. I’m so relaxed my brain feels like it’s been gently turned to custard, and I have no objections.
- 1:00 PM: A final meal. We’re on a food tour. I'm ordering pounded yam with egusi soup.
- 3:00 PM: Packing. sigh. The dreaded part.
- 4:00 PM: A final, quick walk around the Gloriana apartments to drink it all in one last time. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty damn perfect.
- 5:00 PM: Airport time. I'm actually sad to leave. Lagos has a way of getting under your skin. Even with the traffic, the luggage nightmares, and the occasional sensory overload. I'm already planning my return.
- 7:00 PM: Waiting for my flight, I pull out my phone. I scroll through the photos. The Jollof rice. The chaos of the markets. The amazing art. Then, I see the photo of myself in the ridiculous sunglasses. I burst out laughing, realizing that I’d been wearing them with utter confidence. This Lagos trip has broken me in pieces, put me back together, and made me feel… well, human.
- The End (For Now)
Gloriana Apartments: Your Dream Nigerian City Escape? Let's Get Real, Y'all.
Okay, so Gloriana Apartments... what's the actual vibe? Is it truly escape-from-the-chaos level good?
Alright, let's be brutally honest: Escape? Yes. Absolute bliss? Maybe. Look, Lagos is a beast. Gloriana *does* offer a breather. I vividly remember driving in, after a week wrestling with the Third Mainland Bridge (shudders), and the… *relative* calm hit me like a cold, wet towel (in a good way, after the heat). The gate alone is a triumph! Forget the rusty, barely-working ones you see elsewhere - it's sleek, it's secure. You get that instant "phew, I'm *almost* safe" feeling.
But, and there's always a "but" in Lagos, right? Remember my first week? The generator sputtered to life at 6 AM on a Sunday. I swear I nearly had a stroke. Woke up to a chorus of “brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” while I was still dreaming of… well, peace. That's the Lagos paradox, innit? Close, but not a perfect escape. But yes, overall, a vast improvement on the average chaos.
The apartments themselves… Spacious? Claustrophobic? More importantly, air conditioning?
Spacious? Depends. Compared to my previous… shoe box? Gloriana is a mansion. Compared to a palace in Dubai? Not so much. But trust me, after surviving a Lagos "compact living" situation, the space feels divine. I could actually, *gasp*, *walk* around my living room without bumping into furniture! That’s a win. Air conditioning? Oh yes, sweet, blessed AC. Crucial. Absolutely. Otherwise, you're pretty much attempting to live in an oven. I’ll never forget a party I hosted. Someone accidentally locked the AC controls and by the time we noticed we were all drenched in sweat and it felt like a tropical rainforest. The aftermath? A disaster! So, yeah, AC is a *non-negotiable*.
What about the security? I keep hearing horror stories…
Security is *decent*. I’m not going to lie and say it's Fort Knox. But it's reassuring compared to… well, nothing. The guards are generally vigilant. I've had a few minor scares – one time, a stray dog (that looked suspiciously like it belonged to someone) wandered in, and the guards chased it with admirable (if slightly comical) urgency. The gate itself is a definite plus, as is the fencing. They do insist on checking bags, which can be a *tad* tedious when you're running late. But hey, better safe than sorry, yeah? Remember that time I tried to get some pizza delivered? Took nearly an hour for the cyclist to get in. Now, that's an adventure!
Okay, let’s talk amenities. Pool? Gym? Are we talking *luxury* or just "slightly less stressful than living on the streets"?
Pool? Yes. And it's actually quite lovely, usually. Especially during the week when the crazies… I mean, the *enthusiastic weekend swimmers*… aren't there. It's clean-ish (Lagos clean, mind you – a slightly different standard). The gym… okay, so it's not exactly a state-of-the-art fitness center. The equipment is… functional. Let’s just say it has its own charm. I attempted to use the treadmill once. Nearly flew off the back. But, it's something! Compared to having to run laps around the estate, dodging potholes and the very persistent "Pure Water" sellers? Again, a win. The kids love the playground too. Though, watch out for the sand, which seems to have a special affinity for shoe-eating.
Location, location, location! How's the area around Gloriana? Shops? Traffic? Is it convenient or a complete trek?
Location is… a trade-off. It's not smack-bang in the middle of everything. Which, depending on your perspective, is a good or a bad thing. Traffic? Still Lagos. You'll have traffic, period. Especially at peak times. There are shops nearby, but don’t expect high-end boutiques. The local markets are usually buzzing with life, which is good. You'll find what you need, eventually. I once spent *hours* trying to find a specific type of pepper. Hours! It’s always an adventure, but if you need a taste of local life it works.
One major plus is relatively easy access to [Mention a major road/landmark near Gloriana]. On a good day, you can get to [Another area] without wanting to scream. Okay, I'm lying. I *always* want to scream in Lagos traffic. But you know, things are generally a little better than if you lived somewhere completely chaotic.
Are there any hidden costs? The rent seems… reasonable. Are you being scammed?
Hidden costs? Oh, honey, welcome to Nigeria! Okay, not necessarily a scam, but yes, expect some extras. Generator fuel (which is your lifeblood), service charge (for the security, cleaning, etc.), and sometimes, random "community development" fees. Factor these in. I definitely underestimated these costs at first. It's easy to get sticker shock. Then you realize you might have to spend a fortune every week. This is life.
I remember when the water bill suddenly doubled. I nearly choked on my eba. A long conversation with management ensued. After more persuasion than I’d like to get into, it turns out there was an issue. It was promptly resolved. Things like this can happen.
Would you recommend Gloriana Apartments? The million-dollar question!
Look, I'm going to be real. Lagos is a rollercoaster. Gloriana? It's a slightly smoother section of track. It's not perfect. It's not Dubai. It's not a utopia. But it's a cleanish, mostly peaceful place to call home, which is a big thing in this city. Honestly, after living in the chaos of other places, Gloriana provides a fantastic contrast. Am I happy? Mostly. Do I sleep better? Absolutely. Do I sometimes want to run screaming into the ocean to avoid another power outage? Possibly. But, overall, if you're looking for a place to breathe in this madness? Yes. I'd recommend Gloriana Apartments. Just, manage your expectations, keep the generator fuel money in reserve, and maybe invest in some noise-canceling headphones. You'll thank me later.
