Newark Airport's BEST Kept Secret? Motel 6 Elizabeth Review!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you are about to get the REAL lowdown on Newark Airport's alleged "BEST Kept Secret": The Motel 6 in Elizabeth. I'm talking warts and all, folks. Forget the glossy brochure lies – this is the nitty-gritty, the unfiltered truth. And lemme tell you, it's a wild ride.
Accessibility (and the Great Elevator Adventure)
Okay, so, accessibility. This is crucial, right? Especially when you're hauling luggage after a red-eye. They say they have facilities for disabled guests. Say. The elevator… well, let's just say it tests your patience. I'm not saying it's slow. I'm saying it's meditative. You could write a novel in the time it takes to get from the lobby to the third floor. It's a gamble. Will it get you there in a reasonable timeframe, or will you be stuck listening to the same elevator music loop for what feels like an eternity? Thankfully, they have an elevator, but, my goodness, good luck. You'll either need to plan your day around its glacial pace, or embrace the cardio of stairs (which, let's be honest, after a long flight, is not exactly my idea of fun). I can only imagine what someone in a wheelchair would be thinking.
Cleanliness & Safety - The Sanitizing Symphony, and the Questionable Air
I was really paying attention with regards to cleanliness. They say the word "clean" approximately 8,000 times on their website, and in these Covid times, that's a HUGE GREEN FLAG. They advertise: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment.
And… well, I think they’re trying. The hallways seemed clean, and I didn't see any obvious petri dishes breeding in the corners. But the air! Oh, the air. It felt… stale. Like it hadn’t been properly circulated since the Clinton administration. Opening a window maybe? Alas, more on that later. Let's just say, I brought my own air freshener (which is a MUST). They claim to prioritize hygiene, which I can partly (and with some suspicion) confirm.
Rooms & Amenities - Minimalism, Minus the… Well, Everything Else Okay, the rooms. Let's get real. Motel 6 is famed for its… austerity. They're not exactly palaces, ya know? They advertise a lot, so let us get into it.
- Available in all rooms:
- Additional toilet (yes, the thrill of a second toilet!)
- Air conditioning (a blessing if it works. Pray it works.)
- Alarm clock (because you'll need to set one. Don't trust the elevator.)
- Bathrobes (lol. LOL. I'm pretty sure they're not provided, but I did not look)
- Bathroom phone (In case you really need to make a call from the porcelain throne?)
- Bathtub (yep, a tub. A tub of… who knows what.)
- Blackout curtains (Thank GOD. You’ll need them.)
- Carpeting (It's… carpet. Let's leave it at that.)
- Closet (a tiny, tiny closet.)
- Coffee/tea maker (This is where it gets interesting. My experience here was… let's just say the coffee tasted of regret.)
- Complimentary tea (See above. Try not to cry.)
- Daily housekeeping (Yep. They come. They clean. You'll probably still find a stray Cheeto.)
- Desk (A tiny desk. Prepare to squint.)
- Extra long bed (This sounds promising! I did not have to test it)
- Free bottled water (A lifesaver. Hydrate, people, hydrate!)
- Hair dryer (It exists. Don't expect Dyson quality.)
- High floor (if you didn't get a low one)
- In-room safe box (For your valuables, aka the key to getting through the day)
- Interconnecting room(s) available (If you're lucky/unlucky enough to need them)
- Internet access – LAN/wireless (It's there. Somewhere. Good luck with the signal.)
- Ironing facilities (Do you really need to iron?)
- Laptop workspace (see Desk)
- Linens (They're… cleanish.)
- Mini bar (Ha!)
- Mirror (Yes. So you can despair at your jet-lagged face.)
- Non-smoking (They say non-smoking. The air suggests otherwise.)
- On-demand movies (Maybe? I'm not sure I wanted to put my card on this)
- Private bathroom (Yes, thankfully. No shared bathrooms!)
- Reading light (Useful. You'll need something to take your mind off the existential dread of being in a Motel 6.)
- Refrigerator (A tiny one. It works!)
- Safety/security feature (Like a lock on the door. And maybe a prayer.)
- Satellite/cable channels (The TV. The escape. Maybe.)
- Scale (For when you re-enter reality)
- Seating area (It’s there. It’s… a chair.)
- Separate shower/bathtub (Luxury!)
- Shower (It… showers.)
- Slippers (I'd bring my own.)
- Smoke detector (Yes. Important.)
- Socket near the bed (For your phone. Essential.)
- Sofa (If you're in a suite, which I most definitely was not.)
- Soundproofing (Meh. Depends on your neighbors.)
- Telephone (In case you really need to call the front desk again.)
- Toiletries (The bare minimum. Bring your own conditioner, trust me.)
- Towels (They exist. Use them.)
- Umbrella (Why, I don't know. It's Newark.)
- Visual alarm (For the hard of hearing.)
- Wake-up service (If the elevator doesn't wake you up first.)
- Wi-Fi [free] (It's supposed to be free. See: Internet. Above.)
- Window that opens (Ah, finally. The sweet, sweet promise of… wait. The sound of the highway. The stench of something questionable. Never mind. Close it again.)
I'd like to specifically call out the Coffee/tea maker. I needed my coffee after the long ride, and I have a confession, I broke the coffee maker. Not on purpose! It just… expired. One of the many minor imperfections that add to the charm/frustration of a place like this.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking - A Culinary Journey (Maybe Not)
Okay, the food. Oh, the food. They advertise a restaurant. My expectations… were low. They list: A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar
The actual reality was, at best, a grab-and-go continental breakfast situation with some questionable pastries and that coffee I mentioned. The coffee shop? Vanished! The bar? Non-existent. The international cuisine? Let's just say my taste buds weren’t exactly thrilled. I'm not saying it's the worst food in the world, but I’m not giving it a shout-out.
Services & Conveniences – The Mixed Bag
They offer a plethora of services. The reality? Well, let's just say your mileage will vary. They list: Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center.
- Convenience Store: They claim one. I didn’t see one.
- Luggage Storage: They have it. Useful if you arrive early or have a late flight.
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your sanitized, brochure-perfect itinerary. This is my attempt at wrangling the Newark Airport tango, with Motel 6 Elizabeth as the unfortunate central star. Prepare for glorious, messy, and hopefully hilarious chaos.
Day 1: Arrival and the Curse of the Newark Airport Shuttle
- 1:00 PM (ish): Touchdown at Newark (EWR). Oh, the joy. Smelling that jet fuel always hits me in a way that says, "You're officially there." Find baggage claim (pray it’s not on the far side of Narnia).
- 1:45 PM (ish): Luggage acquired! Success! Or, at least, a temporary reprieve from the existential dread of lost baggage. Time to locate the holy grail: the Motel 6 shuttle. Pray to whatever deity governs on-time shuttles that it arrives within the century.
- 2:30 PM (ish): (Rambling begins) The shuttle is late. Of course, it's late. This is Newark. I swear, the drivers moonlight as professional philosophers, using the delay to ponder the mysteries of the universe while the rest of us stand shivering in our flimsy travel jackets. I'm already regretting the "economy" choice. I should've just taken an Uber…
- 3:00 PM (ish): Finally! The shuttle lumbers into view. (Sigh of relief). It smells vaguely of fried food and despair. There's a guy in a stained "I heart NY" shirt yelling into his phone about… something. Ah, New Jersey. Never change.
- 3:30 PM: Check-in at Motel 6 Elizabeth. Let’s see, the reviews said “basic” and “functional.” Let’s find out what those things mean in practice… I’m going to need a shower after all this.
- (Emotional Reaction): I hope the bed isn’t like a concrete slab. I desperately need sleep. I’m so tired I could eat a whole pizza by myself.
- 4:00 PM: Unpack, assess the room situation (pray there are no rogue cockroaches). Okay, it’s… a room. It exists. The TV remote has one functioning button. The air conditioning unit sounds like a dying pterodactyl.
- (Quirky Observation): Does anyone else feel like motel rooms all smell the same? Like a mix of industrial cleaner and a lingering scent of forgotten dreams?
- 5:00 PM: Pizza run! Gotta refuel. There's a pizza place the reviews said "nearby." Let's see how "nearby" translates in Newark terms.
- (Anecdote): Last time I relied on a Google Maps estimated walk time, it turned out to be a half-marathon. I ended up getting blisters the size of golf balls. This time, I'll be smart and wear hiking boots.
- 6:00 PM (ish): Pizza acquired! (It was, thankfully, only a brisk walk away). Devour it with the ferocity of a starving wolf.
- 7:00 PM: Crash into bed. Try to sleep. The pterodactyl continues its death throes.
Day 2: The Airport Shuffle Saga (Again!) and a Glimmer of Hope
- 7:00 AM: Wake up. (Questionable quality sleep was had). The pterodactyl is still alive. Ugh.
- 7:30 AM: Breakfast. Pray to the vending machine gods for a passable coffee. The snack selection might be questionable, so maybe skip it, I’m pretty sure I have a granola bar in my bag.
- 8:00 AM: Airport shuttle round two. Pray this one works. Maybe I should try to make friends with the driver, see if they know any secrets about avoiding the delays.
- 8:30 AM: At the airport. Pray for smooth security. This is the worst part of the travel process.
- 9:30 AM: Find the gate. Pray the plane will take off.
- 10:00 AM: Boarding the plane. Success, I made it!
- (Anecdote): Oh man, one time, I was getting on a plane and I forgot I had a water bottle in my bag, and security flipped out -- this was before the liquids rules, even! I was so mortified. They really put me on the spot! I can't believe it still!
- 10:30 AM: Take off and fly away!
(Messy, Rambling Conclusion):
Okay, yes, this itinerary is barely a schedule. I skipped a lot of stuff. I didn’t even get into what I’m really going to do on this trip. But that’s the point! Life throws curveballs, flights get delayed, and Motel 6 rooms, well, they’re always an adventure (a slightly depressing adventure, but still). This is my raw, unfiltered travel experience. And honestly? Sometimes, the mess is the best part. I've learned to embrace the imperfections, the unexpected delays, and the occasional pterodactyl-like air conditioner. Because that's where the real stories are. And maybe, just maybe, I'll have some good stories to tell when I get back. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find some earplugs and a better coffee. Wish me luck.
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Motel 6 Elizabeth: The Unvarnished Truth (and Why You Might Actually Love It... Or Hate It)
Alright, let's be real. You're flying in or out of Newark, you're tired, maybe stressed. You're looking for cheap, and you've probably stumbled on the Motel 6 in Elizabeth. It's the "secret" everyone whispers about, because proximity to the airport + ridiculously low price = a recipe for intrigue. Buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't gonna be a sparkling brochure.
1. Is this place ACTUALLY close to Newark Airport? Like, do I need to factor in a whole Lord of the Rings-style trek?
Okay, "close" is relative. It's significantly closer than, say, staying in Manhattan. A taxi or rideshare is going to cost you, like, *maybe* $20-$30, depending on traffic. And lemme tell you, Jersey traffic is a beast. I once spent an hour in a cab going from Newark to Elizabeth. AN HOUR. So, yeah, close-ish. Don't expect to walk. Unless you're a masochist.
2. Is it... clean? Because my standards aren't exactly Ritz Carlton, but I've seen some things...
Okay, this is where things get… interesting. Let's just say "clean" falls somewhere on a spectrum. Like, it *looks* clean - generally speaking. The sheets usually look like they've been, ya know, washed. BUT! There's always a *feeling*... Like, a lingering essence of… history. Maybe it's the industrial-grade cleaning products, maybe it's the air freshener trying WAY too hard. My advice? Pack some Clorox wipes. Seriously. Better safe than sorry. I once was convinced I saw a rogue dust bunny the size of a small dog.
3. Alright, what about the *ambiance*? Is it depressing enough to fuel my existential dread, or is it somehow… charming?
Charming? Honey, this ain't a charming kind of place. Depressing? Potentially. It's the kind of ambiance that says, "You're here because you *have* to be here, not because you *want* to be here." Think fluorescent lights, linoleum floors, and a certain... *general* aroma of stale cigarettes mixed with something vaguely… floral. But here’s the thing: you can embrace the bleakness. I once spent hours hunched over my laptop, writing, completely unbothered. It's a great place to lean into the loneliness. And hey, the people-watching is phenomenal. You see EVERYONE there.
4. The Free Breakfast. Spill the tea. What's on offer? Is it edible?
Breakfast... Ah, yes. The *breakfast*. Expect pre-packaged muffins that taste suspiciously like sadness. Cereal that’s probably been sitting in the dispenser since the Carter administration. Coffee that's… coffee. It’s *there*. It'll fill a hole. Don’t expect culinary fireworks. My advice? Pack some granola bars. Or just skip it and find a decent diner. Speaking of which, there is a great diner a short drive away…but I digress.
5. Are there ANY redeeming qualities? Like, anything at all, besides the price?
Okay, yes. Here's where I have to be honest. The price IS killer. And that's a HUGE deal. Like, seriously, if you're on a budget, and you need a place to crash for a night before or after a flight, this is it. It's also conveniently located near… well, not a whole lot, but it's close to a few decent food options if you're desperate. Plus, and I kid you not, I had a surprisingly comfortable sleep there once. Maybe it was the sheer exhaustion of travel, but I woke up feeling… okay. So, there’s that. And honestly, the staff, while not exactly overflowing with warmth, were always competent and got the job done.
6. Ok. Let's get REAL. What was the WORST experience? (Dish the dirt!)
Ooh, you want the juicy stuff? Alright. Here's one. I once stayed there during a hurricane. Now, the power was out everywhere, right? The Motel 6 was no exception. Pitch black. Eerie silence...except for the torrential rain and wind howling outside. And the incessant buzzing of the emergency lights. In the dark, I tripped over a rogue suitcase. I hit my shin, hard, and let out a yelp. No power, no phone signal. Just me, a throbbing leg, and the distinct feeling I was living in a bad horror movie. The next morning, I had to hike, barefoot with a throbbing leg, through the pouring rain to find coffee. A whole new level of travel misery. But even THEN, I'd probably stay again. That's how cheap it is. And the memory is hilarious now. Seriously. You cannot make this stuff up.
7. Should I stay at the Motel 6 Elizabeth? Give me the brutally honest truth.
Look, it depends. Are you a bougie traveler who prioritizes comfort and luxury? HELL NO. Run away. Are you a budget-conscious traveler who needs a place to crash and doesn’t mind a little… *character*? Then, yeah, go for it. Manage your expectations. Pack the Clorox wipes. And prepare yourself for an adventure. It might be a slightly depressing adventure, but hey, you'll have a story to tell. And at the end of the day, you'll save some money. And frankly, sometimes, that's all that matters. Plus, honestly? It's a conversation starter. “Oh, you stayed at the Motel 6 in Elizabeth? No way!” It’s a badge of honor in its own weird way.
